Concise Writing

At the heart of business is the idea that “time is money.” This may lead you to believe that shorter messages are always better; however, concise writing is not just fast or short. Sometimes your writing must balance the clarity of the message with efficiency.

Sentence Length and Complexity

With business writing, the main focus is on the reader’s ability to quickly absorb and react to the communication. Concise business writing uses clean, straightforward sentence structure to improve understanding and retention. This is different from the prose of novels or the beat of poetry in which taking pleasure in the complexity of sentences is part of the experience. Business writing uses simpler sentences to be more concise and thus less likely to be misinterpreted.

Sentence Types

Grammatically, there are three kinds of sentences. Understanding how they work and what they do will help you write more concisely and clearly.

Simple sentences consist of a single independent clause.

Fido fetched. [A noun and a verb are all it takes to make a simple sentence.]

Whiskers ate her tuna. [This adds a direct object, “tuna,” but it’s still a simple sentence.]

Polly sat on her perch and whistled. [This includes a prepositional phrase, “on her perch,” and a compound verb “sat” and “whistled,” but it’s still a simple sentence.]

Compound sentences consist of two (or more, but that’s tricky) independent clauses attached by a comma and a conjunction.

Amanita threw the ball, and Fido fetched it. [“Amanita threw the ball” could stand alone as a sentence, as could “Fido fetched it.” That structure is what makes this a compound sentence.]

Complex sentences consist of at least one dependent clause followed by at least one independent clause.

While Amanita looked for the ball, Fido chased a grasshopper. [Even though the part of the sentence before the comma has a subject, “Amanita,” and a verb “looked,” the addition of “while” means it can’t stand on its own as a sentence. “Fido chased a grasshopper” can stand alone, so it is an independent clause.]

Compound-complex sentences combine at least two independent clauses and one or more dependent clauses, linked by conjunctions to express multiple related ideas.

While Amanita looked for the ball, Fido chased a grasshopper, and Whiskers looked bored.

Why Does This Matter?

Using compound and complex sentences is great! However, be sure you are not splicing together long strings of clauses that get really hard to follow. Additionally, you should vary your sentence types for more engaging reading.

In order to write straightforward sentences that are appropriate and effective in business communication, there are a few things to keep in mind.

• Be careful not to string together too many ideas in the same sentence. A sentence like this is not only confusing, but it also becomes really boring to read and doesn’t sound very sophisticated.

Original Example	Revision	Why
Michael coordinated the marketing campaign, the sales team exceeded their targets, and the new product launch was a resounding success.	Michael coordinated the marketing campaign while the sales team worked hard to exceed their targets. The result was a resounding success for the new product launch.	This revision clarifies that Michael’s coordination and the sales team’s efforts were simultaneous, contributing to the success of the product launch. Separating the success of the launch into its own sentence emphasizes its importance as the culmination of their efforts.

• Starting a sentence with a dependent clause can sometimes bury the important news at the back end of the sentence. It’s not forbidden to begin with dependent clauses but be very careful about when you choose to do so. Think about the emotions a reader goes through when faced with a sentence like this:

Original Example	Revision	Why
While we suffered a dismal first quarter because of supply-chain issues, and our stock price wobbled a lot thanks to fluctuations in the market in Europe that caused the company to begin targeting employees for layoffs, the executive team is happy to report that we are on track for a profitable year.	The executive team is happy to report that we are on track for a profitable year, even though we suffered . . .	The original is almost cruel in the amount of anxiety a reader has to suffer before getting to the good news. The impact is completely different when the sentence starts with the good news first.

• Clear is good; simple can be mind-numbing, so vary your sentence structures. 

Original Example	Revision	Why
The conference was planned. The keynote speakers were confirmed. Attendees registered in record numbers. Feedback was overwhelmingly positive. The event was a success.	With the conference meticulously planned and keynote speakers confirmed, we witnessed record registration numbers from attendees. The overwhelmingly positive feedback highlighted the event’s success.	This revision is more interesting to read and combines related details.

Watch your wordiness. As you write and edit, ask yourself whether you are using several words when there’s one perfectly good one that would suffice. At the same time, be careful of turning a single sentence into a paragraph by stringing together every idea you’ve ever had. Findings from Goddard (1989) suggest that sentence length is related to reader comprehension. This research suggests that between 20 and 25 words is the maximum for solid comprehension.

Sentence Length	Comprehension Rate
8 words	100%
15 words	90%
19 words	80%
28 words	50%

Remember, your goal is not to make your sentences short, your goal is to convey your ideas clearly and to avoid ambiguity. That said, the more complex the material you are discussing, the more straightforward and clean your sentences need to be. ^[1]

Avoid	Try This Instead	Why
I am writing to tell you that the cat ate the mouse.	The cat ate the mouse.	Isn’t it obvious that “I am writing”?  How else would the reader see this?
At this point in time, you need to complete a new application.	You need to complete a new application.	What other time period could we be in?
In a very few cases, the amount was refunded.	Rarely was the amount refunded.	Why use a whole phrase when a single word is right to the point?

Be careful not to repeat yourself over and over and over.

Avoid	Try This Instead
Those two items are exactly identical, except for the price tag we added.	Those two items are identical, except for the price tag we added.
It’s a true fact that she was late again.	It’s true she was late again. (Even better in most cases:) She was late again.

Finally, become aware of your bad habits. Do you use “also” too much to show the relationship between ideas? Do you overuse the complex sentence type? Do you use “one” (as in “One hopes to understand the meaning of this sentence.”) and then get stuck in a bog of pronouns? Do you start sentences with “What it is, is . . . ” Whatever your particular quirks, become aware of them and take care to look for and fix them when you edit your work.

For more useful information on how sentences work, and to get some practice in before you start your writing, check out this reading on Sentence Structure.

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