{"id":152,"date":"2025-04-17T16:34:48","date_gmt":"2025-04-17T16:34:48","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/content.one.lumenlearning.com\/englishcomp1\/chapter\/sentence-construction\/"},"modified":"2025-07-16T15:32:31","modified_gmt":"2025-07-16T15:32:31","slug":"sentence-construction","status":"publish","type":"chapter","link":"https:\/\/content.one.lumenlearning.com\/englishcomp1\/chapter\/sentence-construction\/","title":{"raw":"Writing Strong Sentences: Learn It 1","rendered":"Writing Strong Sentences: Learn It 1"},"content":{"raw":"<section class=\"textbox learningGoals\" aria-label=\"Learning Goals\">\r\n<ul>\r\n \t<li><span data-sheets-root=\"1\">Explain techniques for writing effective sentences<\/span><\/li>\r\n \t<li><span data-sheets-root=\"1\">Identify and use active voice in your writing<\/span><\/li>\r\n<\/ul>\r\n<\/section>\r\n<h2>Sentence Construction<\/h2>\r\nWe\u2019ve covered organizing strong writing and considering your audience, as well as using appropriate tone and language for academic work. Now let\u2019s focus on the writing itself.\r\n\r\nEffective academic writing is precise and concise at every level\u2014document, paragraph, sentence, word, and even punctuation. Every word should serve a clear purpose.\r\n<h3>Write Concise Sentences<\/h3>\r\nAlways ask yourself if you\u2019re using your readers\u2019 time wisely. Are your sentences unnecessarily complex or long? For example, instead of saying, \u201cCats have a tendency toward sleeping most of the day,\u201d simply say, \u201cCats usually sleep most of the day.\u201d Replace \u201cThe 12th day of the month of April\u201d with \u201cApril 12th.\u201d\r\n\r\nAlso, avoid inflating your text to meet word counts with phrases like \u201cdue to the fact that\u201d instead of \u201cbecause.\u201d Readers will notice and find the writing tedious. If you need more words, add examples, details, or perspectives instead of fluff.\r\n\r\nLastly, be careful with redundant phrases like \u201cpositive benefits\u201d\u2014\u201cbenefits\u201d already implies something positive. Focus on clear, direct language to strengthen your writing.\r\n\r\n<section class=\"textbox example\" aria-label=\"Example\">\r\n<h4>Redundant Phrases<\/h4>\r\nSome examples of redundant phrases are listed below.\r\n<table class=\"shaded aligncenter\">\r\n<tbody>\r\n<tr>\r\n<td colspan=\"3\"><strong>Redundancies<\/strong><\/td>\r\n<\/tr>\r\n<tr>\r\n<td>combine\/join\u00a0<del>together<\/del><\/td>\r\n<td>fill\u00a0<del>completely<\/del><\/td>\r\n<td>unite\u00a0<del>as one<\/del><\/td>\r\n<\/tr>\r\n<tr>\r\n<td>finish\u00a0<del>entirely<\/del><\/td>\r\n<td>refer\/return\/revert\u00a0<del>bac<\/del>k to<\/td>\r\n<td>emphasize\/stress\u00a0<del>strongly<\/del><\/td>\r\n<\/tr>\r\n<tr>\r\n<td>examine (closely)<\/td>\r\n<td><del>suddenly<\/del>\u00a0interrupt<\/td>\r\n<td><del>better\/further<\/del>\u00a0enhance<\/td>\r\n<\/tr>\r\n<tr>\r\n<td><del>eventually<\/del>\u00a0evolve\u00a0<del>over time<\/del><\/td>\r\n<td><del>strictly<\/del>\u00a0forbid<\/td>\r\n<td>rely\/depend\u00a0<del>heavily<\/del><\/td>\r\n<\/tr>\r\n<tr>\r\n<td>plan\u00a0<del>ahead<\/del><\/td>\r\n<td><del>harshly<\/del>\u00a0condemn<\/td>\r\n<td>protest\u00a0<del>against<\/del><\/td>\r\n<\/tr>\r\n<tr>\r\n<td><del>completely<\/del>\u00a0surround\u00a0<del>on all sides<\/del><\/td>\r\n<td>estimate\/approximate\u00a0<del>roughly<\/del><\/td>\r\n<td>gather\/assemble\u00a0<del>together<\/del><\/td>\r\n<\/tr>\r\n<tr>\r\n<td><del>clearly<\/del>\u00a0 articulate<\/td>\r\n<td><del>carefully<\/del>\u00a0consider<\/td>\r\n<td><del>successfully<\/del>\u00a0prove<\/td>\r\n<\/tr>\r\n<tr>\r\n<td><del>future<\/del>\u00a0plan<\/td>\r\n<td><del>mutual<\/del>\u00a0agreement<\/td>\r\n<td>years\u00a0<del>of age<\/del><\/td>\r\n<\/tr>\r\n<tr>\r\n<td>in\u00a0<del>actual<\/del>\u00a0fact<\/td>\r\n<td><del>positive<\/del>\u00a0benefits<\/td>\r\n<td><del>end<\/del> result\/product<\/td>\r\n<\/tr>\r\n<\/tbody>\r\n<\/table>\r\n<\/section>\r\n<h3>Write Clear Sentences<\/h3>\r\nWriters often feel pressure to use fancy words to sound smarter, but clear sentences are stronger than complicated ones.\r\n\r\n<section class=\"textbox example\" aria-label=\"Example\">\r\n<h4>Clear Language<\/h4>\r\nConsider this comparison:\r\n<ol>\r\n \t<li><em>Do not ask what your country can do for you; ask what you can do for your country.<\/em><\/li>\r\n \t<li><em>Do not submit a query concerning what assets and benefits your country can bestow upon you, but rather inquire as to what tasks or activities you can perform for the citizens of your country.<\/em><\/li>\r\n<\/ol>\r\nThe first sentence, taken from JFK\u2019s inaugural address, is simpler and more impactful. Although the second sentence is longer and harder to grasp, that does not make it more intelligent.\r\n\r\n<\/section><span style=\"font-size: 1rem; text-align: initial;\">Complex language doesn\u2019t make writing better\u2014clarity does. Beware, however, that you do not lose meaning when you make a sentence simpler; cut out only the most unnecessary \u201cfluffy\u201d adjectives, but don\u2019t sacrifice being descriptive.<\/span>\r\n\r\nClear writing starts with knowing what you want to say. A lack of clarity often comes from unclear thinking or poor planning, which can confuse or frustrate readers. For many, ideas become clearer during the drafting process, making revision essential. Use revision to ensure each sentence conveys one idea and each paragraph develops a unified concept.\r\n<h3>Avoid vague and unnecessary words<\/h3>\r\nAre you <strong>very<\/strong> hungry, or are you so hungry you could eat everything in the refrigerator? Is your English class <strong>really<\/strong> great, or does it make you feel like the most creative writer surrounded by ambitious, engaged peers?\r\n\r\nWords like <em>very<\/em> and <em>really<\/em> don't say much. Instead of using stock or clich\u00e9d phrases, try to be more specific about what you mean.\r\n\r\n<section class=\"textbox example\" aria-label=\"Example\">\r\n<h3>Clich\u00e9s, and alternatives<\/h3>\r\nBelow are some examples of overused intensifiers and clich\u00e9s you should be wary of.\r\n<table class=\"shaded\">\r\n<tbody>\r\n<tr>\r\n<td colspan=\"6\"><strong>Overused Intensifiers<\/strong><\/td>\r\n<\/tr>\r\n<tr>\r\n<td>absolutely<\/td>\r\n<td>actually<\/td>\r\n<td>assuredly<\/td>\r\n<td>certainly<\/td>\r\n<td>clearly<\/td>\r\n<td>completely<\/td>\r\n<\/tr>\r\n<tr>\r\n<td>considerably<\/td>\r\n<td>definitely<\/td>\r\n<td>effectively<\/td>\r\n<td>extremely<\/td>\r\n<td>fundamentally<\/td>\r\n<td>drastically<\/td>\r\n<\/tr>\r\n<tr>\r\n<td>highly<\/td>\r\n<td>in fact<\/td>\r\n<td>incredibly<\/td>\r\n<td>inevitably<\/td>\r\n<td>indeed<\/td>\r\n<td>interestingly<\/td>\r\n<\/tr>\r\n<tr>\r\n<td>markedly<\/td>\r\n<td>naturally<\/td>\r\n<td>of course<\/td>\r\n<td>particularly<\/td>\r\n<td>significantly<\/td>\r\n<td>surely<\/td>\r\n<\/tr>\r\n<tr>\r\n<td>totally<\/td>\r\n<td>utterly<\/td>\r\n<td>very<\/td>\r\n<td>really<\/td>\r\n<td>remarkably<\/td>\r\n<td>tremendously<\/td>\r\n<\/tr>\r\n<\/tbody>\r\n<\/table>\r\n<table class=\"shaded aligncenter\">\r\n<tbody>\r\n<tr>\r\n<td><strong>Clich\u00e9s<\/strong><\/td>\r\n<td><strong>Alternatives<\/strong><\/td>\r\n<\/tr>\r\n<tr>\r\n<td>as plain as day<\/td>\r\n<td>plainly, obvious, clear<\/td>\r\n<\/tr>\r\n<tr>\r\n<td>ballpark figure<\/td>\r\n<td>about, approximately<\/td>\r\n<\/tr>\r\n<tr>\r\n<td>few and far between<\/td>\r\n<td>rare, infrequent<\/td>\r\n<\/tr>\r\n<tr>\r\n<td>needless to say<\/td>\r\n<td>of course, obviously<\/td>\r\n<\/tr>\r\n<tr>\r\n<td>last but not least<\/td>\r\n<td>finally, lastly<\/td>\r\n<\/tr>\r\n<tr>\r\n<td>as far as ___ is concerned<\/td>\r\n<td>according to<\/td>\r\n<\/tr>\r\n<\/tbody>\r\n<\/table>\r\n<\/section><section class=\"textbox tryIt\" aria-label=\"Try It\">[ohm2_question]40567[\/ohm2_question]\r\n\r\n<\/section>\r\n<h3>Vary the Length of your Sentences<\/h3>\r\nYour sentences should vary in length (short sentence). Avoid having too many long sentences because they take longer to read and are often more complex (longer sentence). Reserve short sentences for main points and use longer sentences for supporting points that clarify or explain cause and effect relationships (longer sentence). If you feel the sentence is too long, break it into two sentences (medium sentence). You do not want your reader to have to read a sentence twice to understand it (short sentence). (Note: you'll learn more in a later module about using colons and semi-colons to structure your complicated and longer sentences so that they don't get out of control, grammatically.)\r\n<h3>Name the People<\/h3>\r\nDirectly state\u00a0<em>who or what group\u00a0<\/em>is acting in your sentences. Note the contrast in power and clarity among the sentences below.\r\n<ul>\r\n \t<li><strong>Without people:\u00a0<\/strong>A citywide ban on indoor smoking in Duluth originally caused a marked drop in bar patronage.<\/li>\r\n \t<li><strong>With people:\u00a0<\/strong>When the Duluth City Council passed a citywide ban on indoor smoking, many people stopped going to bars.<\/li>\r\n<\/ul>\r\n<h3>Use Active Verbs<\/h3>\r\nConsider replacing \"be-verbs\" (is, am, are, was, were, be, has\/have been) with active verbs that allow you to compose powerful sentences shaped around action. Below the italics are the same sentences that have been transformed with active verbs.\r\n<ul>\r\n \t<li><b>To be<\/b>: The sharp rise in fuel prices <strong>is<\/strong> a serious challenge to trucking firms. It makes it hard for them to provide timely service to customers and to meet payroll expenses.<\/li>\r\n \t<li><b>Active<\/b>: Sharply rising fuel prices\u00a0<strong style=\"font-size: 1rem; text-align: initial;\"><em>challenge\u00a0<\/em><\/strong><span style=\"font-size: 1rem; text-align: initial;\">trucking firms by causing delays in customer service and payroll.<\/span><\/li>\r\n \t<li><span style=\"font-size: 1rem; text-align: initial;\"><b>To be<\/b><\/span><em style=\"font-size: 1rem; text-align: initial;\">: <\/em>Primary causes of the rise in fuel prices\u00a0<strong>are\u00a0<\/strong>an issue of confusion for many citizens. They don\u2019t know how to fight the rise because they don\u2019t know its cause.<\/li>\r\n \t<li><b>Active<\/b>: Primary causes of rising fuel prices\u00a0<strong style=\"font-size: 1rem; text-align: initial;\"><em>elude\u00a0<\/em><\/strong><span style=\"font-size: 1rem; text-align: initial;\"><span style=\"font-size: 1rem; text-align: initial;\">many citizens, making them unaware of how to fight the increase.<\/span><\/span><\/li>\r\n<\/ul>\r\n<section class=\"textbox watchIt\" aria-label=\"Watch It\">Watch this video for tips and more examples of how to avoid wordy or redundant writing.\r\n<script type=\"text\/javascript\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/iframe_api \"><\/script>\r\n<p class=\"cc-media-iframe-container\"><iframe id=\"tpm-plugin-effhebdd-sxxjNtM9ZpA\" class=\"cc-media-iframe\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/sxxjNtM9ZpA?enablejsapi=1 \" frameborder=\"0\" data-mce-fragment=\"1\"><\/iframe><\/p>\r\n\r\n<div id=\"3p-plugin-target-effhebdd-sxxjNtM9ZpA\" class=\"p3sdk-target\"><\/div>\r\n<p class=\"cc-media-iframe-container\"><script type='text\/javascript' src='\/\/plugin.3playmedia.com\/ajax.js?cc=1&cc_minimizable=1&cc_minimize_on_load=0&cc_multi_text_track=0&cc_overlay=1&cc_searchable=0&embed=ajax&mf=4759307&p3sdk_version=1.11.7&p=20361&player_type=youtube&plugin_skin=dark&target=3p-plugin-target-effhebdd-sxxjNtM9ZpA&vembed=0&video_id=sxxjNtM9ZpA&video_target=tpm-plugin-effhebdd-sxxjNtM9ZpA'><\/script><\/p>\r\nYou can view the\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/course-building.s3.us-west-2.amazonaws.com\/English+Comp\/Transcripts\/Avoiding+Wordiness+and+Redundancy_transcript.txt\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">transcript for \u201cAvoiding Wordiness and Redundancy\u201d here (opens in new window).<\/a>\r\n\r\n<\/section>\r\n<h3>Use Parallel Structure Effectively<\/h3>\r\nSimply put, <strong>parallelism<\/strong> is the practice of using the same patterns in words and structures in order to provide balance to sentences and paragraphs. Just as a parallel shape has two lines with the same distance between them, a parallelism ensures you have balance with your language.\r\n\r\nCompare these sentences:\r\n<ol>\r\n \t<li>Yara loves running, to swim, and then biking.<\/li>\r\n \t<li>Yara loves running, swimming, and biking.<\/li>\r\n<\/ol>\r\nThe second sentence is a smoother read because it uses parallelism\u2014all three verbs are gerunds (running, swimming, biking). In the first sentence, two are gerunds (running and biking), while one is an infinitive (to swim), creating a mismatch. This lack of parallel structure makes the first sentence harder to process. Strong parallelism improves writing style, readability, and flow.\r\n\r\n<section class=\"textbox example\" aria-label=\"Example\">\r\n<h4>Parallelism<\/h4>\r\nThe following example shows how parallelism can be applied by using the same word form for a list of actions:\r\n<ul>\r\n \t<li><strong>Lacking parallelism: <\/strong>\"She likes cooking, jogging, and to read.\"<\/li>\r\n \t<li><strong>Parallel: <\/strong>\"She likes cooking, jogging, and reading.\" OR \"She likes to cook, jog, and read.\"<\/li>\r\n<\/ul>\r\nThe following example shows how parallelism can be applied by keeping a consistent sentence pattern:\r\n<ul>\r\n \t<li><strong>Lacking parallelism: <\/strong>\"The dog ran across the yard and jumped over the fence, and down the alley he sprinted.\"<\/li>\r\n \t<li><strong>Parallel: <\/strong>\"The dog <em>ran across<\/em> the yard,<em> jumped over<\/em> the fence, and <em>sprinted down<\/em> the alley.\"<\/li>\r\n<\/ul>\r\nThe following example shows how parallelism can be applied across a passage:\r\n<ul>\r\n \t<li>Manuel painted eight paintings in the last week.\u00a0Jennifer sculpted five statues in the last month. Zama\u00a0wrote\u00a0fifteen\u00a0songs in the last two months.<\/li>\r\n<\/ul>\r\nEach of the sentences in the preceding paragraph has the same structure: Name + -ed verb + number of things + in the past time period.\r\n\r\n<\/section>When you read the first sentence in each of those examples, it is easy to trip up over the mismatched items. Using strong parallel structure improves writing style and readability and makes sentences easier to process. However, when using parallelism across multiple sentences, be sure that you're using it well. If you aren't careful, you can stray into being repetitive.\r\n\r\n<section class=\"textbox tryIt\" aria-label=\"Try It\">Look at the following items. Identify and address any issues with parallelism.\r\n<ol>\r\n \t<li>Low self-esteem can manifest itself\u00a0in various behaviors. Some\u00a0individuals may become paralyzed at the prospect of making a decision. Other individuals may bend their wills to others' in order to keep the peace. Yet another symptom is the retreat from society as a whole\u2014to become isolated.<\/li>\r\n \t<li>The influence of genetics on human\u00a0behavior has been shown through studies of twins who were separated at birth. Not only do these sets of individuals share many physical characteristics, but they also tend to have the same sort of interests\u00a0and\u00a0biases and utilize similar mental processes.<\/li>\r\n \t<li><em>Nocturne in Black and Gold (The Falling Rocket)<\/em> by James Abbott McNeil Whistler is very emblematic of the impressionist movement: its\u00a0dark colors, contrast, and lack of definite form reflect the attitudes of the day.<\/li>\r\n<\/ol>\r\n[practice-area rows=\"4\"][\/practice-area]\r\n[reveal-answer q=\"486627\"]Show Answer[\/reveal-answer]\r\n[hidden-answer a=\"486627\"]\r\n<ol>\r\n \t<li>The first two sentences that identify behaviors of low self-esteem both start with the construction\u00a0adjective +\u00a0<em>individuals<\/em> +\u00a0<em>may<\/em> verb. Changing the third sentence to match this construction\u00a0will create a stronger introduction to the paper:\r\n<ul>\r\n \t<li>Low self-esteem can manifest itself in various behaviors. Some individuals may become paralyzed at the prospect of making a decision. Other individuals may bend their wills to others' in order to keep the peace. Yet other individuals may\u00a0retreat from society as a whole\u00a0and\u00a0become isolated.<\/li>\r\n<\/ul>\r\n<\/li>\r\n \t<li>The ending clause \"they also tend to have the same sort of interests and biases and utilize similar mental processes\" could be more parallel (and more succinct) than it currently is. You could revise it to\u00a0something like these:\r\n<ul>\r\n \t<li>they also tend to have the same sort of interests, biases, and mental processes<\/li>\r\n \t<li>they also tend to have similar\u00a0interests, biases, and\u00a0mental processes<\/li>\r\n<\/ul>\r\nIf you wanted to make the whole sentence more parallel, you may want to adjust the sentence to match the structure of the phrase \"Not only do these sets of individuals share many physical characteristics\":\r\n<ul>\r\n \t<li>Not only do these sets of individuals share many physical characteristics, but they also share\u00a0similar interests, biases, and mental processes.<\/li>\r\n<\/ul>\r\n<\/li>\r\n \t<li>The items\u00a0in \"its dark colors, contrast, and lack of definite form\" don't quite match up. While they are all nouns, each item has a different\u00a0structure (adjective noun, noun, noun +\u00a0<em>of<\/em> + adjective noun). Here are a couple\u00a0suggestions for more parallel items:\r\n<ul>\r\n \t<li>Its depth of\u00a0color, intensity of contrast, and lack of form\u00a0reflect the attitudes of the day.<\/li>\r\n \t<li>Its dark\u00a0colors, intense contrast, and lax\u00a0forms\u00a0reflect the attitudes of the day.<\/li>\r\n<\/ul>\r\n<\/li>\r\n<\/ol>\r\n[\/hidden-answer]\r\n\r\n<\/section>Parallelism can also involve\u00a0repeated words\u00a0or\u00a0repeated phrases. These uses are part of \"rhetoric\" (a field that focuses on persuading readers).\r\n\r\n<section class=\"textbox example\" aria-label=\"Example\">\r\n<h4>Repetition<\/h4>\r\nHere are some examples of repetition:\r\n<ul>\r\n \t<li>\"<strong>The inherent vice<\/strong> of capitalism is the unequal sharing of blessings; <strong>the inherent virtue<\/strong> of socialism is the equal sharing of miseries.\" \u2014Winston Churchill<\/li>\r\n \t<li>\"Until we get <strong>equality<\/strong> in education, we won't have an <strong>equal<\/strong> society.\" --Justice Sonya Sotomayor<\/li>\r\n \t<li>\"Let every nation know, whether it wishes us well or ill, that we shall <strong>pay any price, bear any burden, meet any hardship, support any friend, oppose any foe<\/strong> to assure the survival and the success of liberty.\" \u2014John F. Kennedy<\/li>\r\n \t<li>\"And that government <strong>of the people, by the people, for the people<\/strong>, shall not perish from the earth.\" \u2014Abraham Lincoln, <em>Gettysburg Address<\/em><\/li>\r\n \t<li>\"<strong>Somehow<\/strong> we do it. <strong>Somehow<\/strong> we weathered and witnessed a nation that isn\u2019t broken, but simply unfinished.\" --Amanda Gorman, poet<\/li>\r\n \t<li>\"<strong>Women<\/strong> belong in all places where decisions are being made. It shouldn't\u00a0be that <strong>women<\/strong> are the exception.\" --Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg<\/li>\r\n<\/ul>\r\n<\/section>When used this way, parallelism makes your writing or speaking much stronger.\u00a0These repeated phrases seem to bind the work together and make it more powerful\u2014and more inspiring.","rendered":"<section class=\"textbox learningGoals\" aria-label=\"Learning Goals\">\n<ul>\n<li><span data-sheets-root=\"1\">Explain techniques for writing effective sentences<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span data-sheets-root=\"1\">Identify and use active voice in your writing<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/section>\n<h2>Sentence Construction<\/h2>\n<p>We\u2019ve covered organizing strong writing and considering your audience, as well as using appropriate tone and language for academic work. Now let\u2019s focus on the writing itself.<\/p>\n<p>Effective academic writing is precise and concise at every level\u2014document, paragraph, sentence, word, and even punctuation. Every word should serve a clear purpose.<\/p>\n<h3>Write Concise Sentences<\/h3>\n<p>Always ask yourself if you\u2019re using your readers\u2019 time wisely. Are your sentences unnecessarily complex or long? For example, instead of saying, \u201cCats have a tendency toward sleeping most of the day,\u201d simply say, \u201cCats usually sleep most of the day.\u201d Replace \u201cThe 12th day of the month of April\u201d with \u201cApril 12th.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Also, avoid inflating your text to meet word counts with phrases like \u201cdue to the fact that\u201d instead of \u201cbecause.\u201d Readers will notice and find the writing tedious. If you need more words, add examples, details, or perspectives instead of fluff.<\/p>\n<p>Lastly, be careful with redundant phrases like \u201cpositive benefits\u201d\u2014\u201cbenefits\u201d already implies something positive. Focus on clear, direct language to strengthen your writing.<\/p>\n<section class=\"textbox example\" aria-label=\"Example\">\n<h4>Redundant Phrases<\/h4>\n<p>Some examples of redundant phrases are listed below.<\/p>\n<table class=\"shaded aligncenter\">\n<tbody>\n<tr>\n<td colspan=\"3\"><strong>Redundancies<\/strong><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<tr>\n<td>combine\/join\u00a0<del>together<\/del><\/td>\n<td>fill\u00a0<del>completely<\/del><\/td>\n<td>unite\u00a0<del>as one<\/del><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<tr>\n<td>finish\u00a0<del>entirely<\/del><\/td>\n<td>refer\/return\/revert\u00a0<del>bac<\/del>k to<\/td>\n<td>emphasize\/stress\u00a0<del>strongly<\/del><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<tr>\n<td>examine (closely)<\/td>\n<td><del>suddenly<\/del>\u00a0interrupt<\/td>\n<td><del>better\/further<\/del>\u00a0enhance<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<tr>\n<td><del>eventually<\/del>\u00a0evolve\u00a0<del>over time<\/del><\/td>\n<td><del>strictly<\/del>\u00a0forbid<\/td>\n<td>rely\/depend\u00a0<del>heavily<\/del><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<tr>\n<td>plan\u00a0<del>ahead<\/del><\/td>\n<td><del>harshly<\/del>\u00a0condemn<\/td>\n<td>protest\u00a0<del>against<\/del><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<tr>\n<td><del>completely<\/del>\u00a0surround\u00a0<del>on all sides<\/del><\/td>\n<td>estimate\/approximate\u00a0<del>roughly<\/del><\/td>\n<td>gather\/assemble\u00a0<del>together<\/del><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<tr>\n<td><del>clearly<\/del>\u00a0 articulate<\/td>\n<td><del>carefully<\/del>\u00a0consider<\/td>\n<td><del>successfully<\/del>\u00a0prove<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<tr>\n<td><del>future<\/del>\u00a0plan<\/td>\n<td><del>mutual<\/del>\u00a0agreement<\/td>\n<td>years\u00a0<del>of age<\/del><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<tr>\n<td>in\u00a0<del>actual<\/del>\u00a0fact<\/td>\n<td><del>positive<\/del>\u00a0benefits<\/td>\n<td><del>end<\/del> result\/product<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n<\/section>\n<h3>Write Clear Sentences<\/h3>\n<p>Writers often feel pressure to use fancy words to sound smarter, but clear sentences are stronger than complicated ones.<\/p>\n<section class=\"textbox example\" aria-label=\"Example\">\n<h4>Clear Language<\/h4>\n<p>Consider this comparison:<\/p>\n<ol>\n<li><em>Do not ask what your country can do for you; ask what you can do for your country.<\/em><\/li>\n<li><em>Do not submit a query concerning what assets and benefits your country can bestow upon you, but rather inquire as to what tasks or activities you can perform for the citizens of your country.<\/em><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n<p>The first sentence, taken from JFK\u2019s inaugural address, is simpler and more impactful. Although the second sentence is longer and harder to grasp, that does not make it more intelligent.<\/p>\n<\/section>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 1rem; text-align: initial;\">Complex language doesn\u2019t make writing better\u2014clarity does. Beware, however, that you do not lose meaning when you make a sentence simpler; cut out only the most unnecessary \u201cfluffy\u201d adjectives, but don\u2019t sacrifice being descriptive.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>Clear writing starts with knowing what you want to say. A lack of clarity often comes from unclear thinking or poor planning, which can confuse or frustrate readers. For many, ideas become clearer during the drafting process, making revision essential. Use revision to ensure each sentence conveys one idea and each paragraph develops a unified concept.<\/p>\n<h3>Avoid vague and unnecessary words<\/h3>\n<p>Are you <strong>very<\/strong> hungry, or are you so hungry you could eat everything in the refrigerator? Is your English class <strong>really<\/strong> great, or does it make you feel like the most creative writer surrounded by ambitious, engaged peers?<\/p>\n<p>Words like <em>very<\/em> and <em>really<\/em> don&#8217;t say much. Instead of using stock or clich\u00e9d phrases, try to be more specific about what you mean.<\/p>\n<section class=\"textbox example\" aria-label=\"Example\">\n<h3>Clich\u00e9s, and alternatives<\/h3>\n<p>Below are some examples of overused intensifiers and clich\u00e9s you should be wary of.<\/p>\n<table class=\"shaded\">\n<tbody>\n<tr>\n<td colspan=\"6\"><strong>Overused Intensifiers<\/strong><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<tr>\n<td>absolutely<\/td>\n<td>actually<\/td>\n<td>assuredly<\/td>\n<td>certainly<\/td>\n<td>clearly<\/td>\n<td>completely<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<tr>\n<td>considerably<\/td>\n<td>definitely<\/td>\n<td>effectively<\/td>\n<td>extremely<\/td>\n<td>fundamentally<\/td>\n<td>drastically<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<tr>\n<td>highly<\/td>\n<td>in fact<\/td>\n<td>incredibly<\/td>\n<td>inevitably<\/td>\n<td>indeed<\/td>\n<td>interestingly<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<tr>\n<td>markedly<\/td>\n<td>naturally<\/td>\n<td>of course<\/td>\n<td>particularly<\/td>\n<td>significantly<\/td>\n<td>surely<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<tr>\n<td>totally<\/td>\n<td>utterly<\/td>\n<td>very<\/td>\n<td>really<\/td>\n<td>remarkably<\/td>\n<td>tremendously<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n<table class=\"shaded aligncenter\">\n<tbody>\n<tr>\n<td><strong>Clich\u00e9s<\/strong><\/td>\n<td><strong>Alternatives<\/strong><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<tr>\n<td>as plain as day<\/td>\n<td>plainly, obvious, clear<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<tr>\n<td>ballpark figure<\/td>\n<td>about, approximately<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<tr>\n<td>few and far between<\/td>\n<td>rare, infrequent<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<tr>\n<td>needless to say<\/td>\n<td>of course, obviously<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<tr>\n<td>last but not least<\/td>\n<td>finally, lastly<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<tr>\n<td>as far as ___ is concerned<\/td>\n<td>according to<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n<\/section>\n<section class=\"textbox tryIt\" aria-label=\"Try It\"><iframe loading=\"lazy\" id=\"ohm40567\" class=\"resizable\" src=\"https:\/\/ohm.one.lumenlearning.com\/multiembedq.php?id=40567&theme=lumen&iframe_resize_id=ohm40567&source=tnh&show_question_numbers\" width=\"100%\" height=\"150\"><\/iframe><\/p>\n<\/section>\n<h3>Vary the Length of your Sentences<\/h3>\n<p>Your sentences should vary in length (short sentence). Avoid having too many long sentences because they take longer to read and are often more complex (longer sentence). Reserve short sentences for main points and use longer sentences for supporting points that clarify or explain cause and effect relationships (longer sentence). If you feel the sentence is too long, break it into two sentences (medium sentence). You do not want your reader to have to read a sentence twice to understand it (short sentence). (Note: you&#8217;ll learn more in a later module about using colons and semi-colons to structure your complicated and longer sentences so that they don&#8217;t get out of control, grammatically.)<\/p>\n<h3>Name the People<\/h3>\n<p>Directly state\u00a0<em>who or what group\u00a0<\/em>is acting in your sentences. Note the contrast in power and clarity among the sentences below.<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>Without people:\u00a0<\/strong>A citywide ban on indoor smoking in Duluth originally caused a marked drop in bar patronage.<\/li>\n<li><strong>With people:\u00a0<\/strong>When the Duluth City Council passed a citywide ban on indoor smoking, many people stopped going to bars.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<h3>Use Active Verbs<\/h3>\n<p>Consider replacing &#8220;be-verbs&#8221; (is, am, are, was, were, be, has\/have been) with active verbs that allow you to compose powerful sentences shaped around action. Below the italics are the same sentences that have been transformed with active verbs.<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><b>To be<\/b>: The sharp rise in fuel prices <strong>is<\/strong> a serious challenge to trucking firms. It makes it hard for them to provide timely service to customers and to meet payroll expenses.<\/li>\n<li><b>Active<\/b>: Sharply rising fuel prices\u00a0<strong style=\"font-size: 1rem; text-align: initial;\"><em>challenge\u00a0<\/em><\/strong><span style=\"font-size: 1rem; text-align: initial;\">trucking firms by causing delays in customer service and payroll.<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-size: 1rem; text-align: initial;\"><b>To be<\/b><\/span><em style=\"font-size: 1rem; text-align: initial;\">: <\/em>Primary causes of the rise in fuel prices\u00a0<strong>are\u00a0<\/strong>an issue of confusion for many citizens. They don\u2019t know how to fight the rise because they don\u2019t know its cause.<\/li>\n<li><b>Active<\/b>: Primary causes of rising fuel prices\u00a0<strong style=\"font-size: 1rem; text-align: initial;\"><em>elude\u00a0<\/em><\/strong><span style=\"font-size: 1rem; text-align: initial;\"><span style=\"font-size: 1rem; text-align: initial;\">many citizens, making them unaware of how to fight the increase.<\/span><\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<section class=\"textbox watchIt\" aria-label=\"Watch It\">Watch this video for tips and more examples of how to avoid wordy or redundant writing.<br \/>\n<script type=\"text\/javascript\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/iframe_api\"><\/script><\/p>\n<p class=\"cc-media-iframe-container\"><iframe id=\"tpm-plugin-effhebdd-sxxjNtM9ZpA\" class=\"cc-media-iframe\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/sxxjNtM9ZpA?enablejsapi=1\" frameborder=\"0\" data-mce-fragment=\"1\"><\/iframe><\/p>\n<div id=\"3p-plugin-target-effhebdd-sxxjNtM9ZpA\" class=\"p3sdk-target\"><\/div>\n<p class=\"cc-media-iframe-container\"><script type=\"text\/javascript\" src=\"\/\/plugin.3playmedia.com\/ajax.js?cc=1&#38;cc_minimizable=1&#38;cc_minimize_on_load=0&#38;cc_multi_text_track=0&#38;cc_overlay=1&#38;cc_searchable=0&#38;embed=ajax&#38;mf=4759307&#38;p3sdk_version=1.11.7&#38;p=20361&#38;player_type=youtube&#38;plugin_skin=dark&#38;target=3p-plugin-target-effhebdd-sxxjNtM9ZpA&#38;vembed=0&#38;video_id=sxxjNtM9ZpA&#38;video_target=tpm-plugin-effhebdd-sxxjNtM9ZpA\"><\/script><\/p>\n<p>You can view the\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/course-building.s3.us-west-2.amazonaws.com\/English+Comp\/Transcripts\/Avoiding+Wordiness+and+Redundancy_transcript.txt\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">transcript for \u201cAvoiding Wordiness and Redundancy\u201d here (opens in new window).<\/a><\/p>\n<\/section>\n<h3>Use Parallel Structure Effectively<\/h3>\n<p>Simply put, <strong>parallelism<\/strong> is the practice of using the same patterns in words and structures in order to provide balance to sentences and paragraphs. Just as a parallel shape has two lines with the same distance between them, a parallelism ensures you have balance with your language.<\/p>\n<p>Compare these sentences:<\/p>\n<ol>\n<li>Yara loves running, to swim, and then biking.<\/li>\n<li>Yara loves running, swimming, and biking.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n<p>The second sentence is a smoother read because it uses parallelism\u2014all three verbs are gerunds (running, swimming, biking). In the first sentence, two are gerunds (running and biking), while one is an infinitive (to swim), creating a mismatch. This lack of parallel structure makes the first sentence harder to process. Strong parallelism improves writing style, readability, and flow.<\/p>\n<section class=\"textbox example\" aria-label=\"Example\">\n<h4>Parallelism<\/h4>\n<p>The following example shows how parallelism can be applied by using the same word form for a list of actions:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>Lacking parallelism: <\/strong>&#8220;She likes cooking, jogging, and to read.&#8221;<\/li>\n<li><strong>Parallel: <\/strong>&#8220;She likes cooking, jogging, and reading.&#8221; OR &#8220;She likes to cook, jog, and read.&#8221;<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>The following example shows how parallelism can be applied by keeping a consistent sentence pattern:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>Lacking parallelism: <\/strong>&#8220;The dog ran across the yard and jumped over the fence, and down the alley he sprinted.&#8221;<\/li>\n<li><strong>Parallel: <\/strong>&#8220;The dog <em>ran across<\/em> the yard,<em> jumped over<\/em> the fence, and <em>sprinted down<\/em> the alley.&#8221;<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>The following example shows how parallelism can be applied across a passage:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Manuel painted eight paintings in the last week.\u00a0Jennifer sculpted five statues in the last month. Zama\u00a0wrote\u00a0fifteen\u00a0songs in the last two months.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>Each of the sentences in the preceding paragraph has the same structure: Name + -ed verb + number of things + in the past time period.<\/p>\n<\/section>\n<p>When you read the first sentence in each of those examples, it is easy to trip up over the mismatched items. Using strong parallel structure improves writing style and readability and makes sentences easier to process. However, when using parallelism across multiple sentences, be sure that you&#8217;re using it well. If you aren&#8217;t careful, you can stray into being repetitive.<\/p>\n<section class=\"textbox tryIt\" aria-label=\"Try It\">Look at the following items. Identify and address any issues with parallelism.<\/p>\n<ol>\n<li>Low self-esteem can manifest itself\u00a0in various behaviors. Some\u00a0individuals may become paralyzed at the prospect of making a decision. Other individuals may bend their wills to others&#8217; in order to keep the peace. Yet another symptom is the retreat from society as a whole\u2014to become isolated.<\/li>\n<li>The influence of genetics on human\u00a0behavior has been shown through studies of twins who were separated at birth. Not only do these sets of individuals share many physical characteristics, but they also tend to have the same sort of interests\u00a0and\u00a0biases and utilize similar mental processes.<\/li>\n<li><em>Nocturne in Black and Gold (The Falling Rocket)<\/em> by James Abbott McNeil Whistler is very emblematic of the impressionist movement: its\u00a0dark colors, contrast, and lack of definite form reflect the attitudes of the day.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n<p><textarea rows=\"4\"><\/textarea><\/p>\n<div class=\"qa-wrapper\" style=\"display: block\"><button class=\"show-answer show-answer-button collapsed\" data-target=\"q486627\">Show Answer<\/button><\/p>\n<div id=\"q486627\" class=\"hidden-answer\" style=\"display: none\">\n<ol>\n<li>The first two sentences that identify behaviors of low self-esteem both start with the construction\u00a0adjective +\u00a0<em>individuals<\/em> +\u00a0<em>may<\/em> verb. Changing the third sentence to match this construction\u00a0will create a stronger introduction to the paper:\n<ul>\n<li>Low self-esteem can manifest itself in various behaviors. Some individuals may become paralyzed at the prospect of making a decision. Other individuals may bend their wills to others&#8217; in order to keep the peace. Yet other individuals may\u00a0retreat from society as a whole\u00a0and\u00a0become isolated.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/li>\n<li>The ending clause &#8220;they also tend to have the same sort of interests and biases and utilize similar mental processes&#8221; could be more parallel (and more succinct) than it currently is. You could revise it to\u00a0something like these:\n<ul>\n<li>they also tend to have the same sort of interests, biases, and mental processes<\/li>\n<li>they also tend to have similar\u00a0interests, biases, and\u00a0mental processes<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>If you wanted to make the whole sentence more parallel, you may want to adjust the sentence to match the structure of the phrase &#8220;Not only do these sets of individuals share many physical characteristics&#8221;:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Not only do these sets of individuals share many physical characteristics, but they also share\u00a0similar interests, biases, and mental processes.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/li>\n<li>The items\u00a0in &#8220;its dark colors, contrast, and lack of definite form&#8221; don&#8217;t quite match up. While they are all nouns, each item has a different\u00a0structure (adjective noun, noun, noun +\u00a0<em>of<\/em> + adjective noun). Here are a couple\u00a0suggestions for more parallel items:\n<ul>\n<li>Its depth of\u00a0color, intensity of contrast, and lack of form\u00a0reflect the attitudes of the day.<\/li>\n<li>Its dark\u00a0colors, intense contrast, and lax\u00a0forms\u00a0reflect the attitudes of the day.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/section>\n<p>Parallelism can also involve\u00a0repeated words\u00a0or\u00a0repeated phrases. These uses are part of &#8220;rhetoric&#8221; (a field that focuses on persuading readers).<\/p>\n<section class=\"textbox example\" aria-label=\"Example\">\n<h4>Repetition<\/h4>\n<p>Here are some examples of repetition:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>&#8220;<strong>The inherent vice<\/strong> of capitalism is the unequal sharing of blessings; <strong>the inherent virtue<\/strong> of socialism is the equal sharing of miseries.&#8221; \u2014Winston Churchill<\/li>\n<li>&#8220;Until we get <strong>equality<\/strong> in education, we won&#8217;t have an <strong>equal<\/strong> society.&#8221; &#8211;Justice Sonya Sotomayor<\/li>\n<li>&#8220;Let every nation know, whether it wishes us well or ill, that we shall <strong>pay any price, bear any burden, meet any hardship, support any friend, oppose any foe<\/strong> to assure the survival and the success of liberty.&#8221; \u2014John F. Kennedy<\/li>\n<li>&#8220;And that government <strong>of the people, by the people, for the people<\/strong>, shall not perish from the earth.&#8221; \u2014Abraham Lincoln, <em>Gettysburg Address<\/em><\/li>\n<li>&#8220;<strong>Somehow<\/strong> we do it. <strong>Somehow<\/strong> we weathered and witnessed a nation that isn\u2019t broken, but simply unfinished.&#8221; &#8211;Amanda Gorman, poet<\/li>\n<li>&#8220;<strong>Women<\/strong> belong in all places where decisions are being made. It shouldn&#8217;t\u00a0be that <strong>women<\/strong> are the exception.&#8221; &#8211;Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/section>\n<p>When used this way, parallelism makes your writing or speaking much stronger.\u00a0These repeated phrases seem to bind the work together and make it more powerful\u2014and more inspiring.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":6,"menu_order":18,"template":"","meta":{"_candela_citation":"[{\"type\":\"cc\",\"description\":\"Sentence Structure\",\"author\":\"Chris Manning, Sally Pierce, and Melissa Lucken \",\"organization\":\"\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/pb.openlcc.net\/expressionandinquiry\/chapter\/7-2-sentence-structure\/\",\"project\":\"Expression and Inquiry\",\"license\":\"cc-by\",\"license_terms\":\"\"},{\"type\":\"cc\",\"description\":\"Analyze Each Part of Your Paper\",\"author\":\"Marianne Botos, Lynn McClelland, Stephanie Polliard, Pamela Osback 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